


promises of tomorrow

by junxouji



Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: Drabble, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-27
Updated: 2015-04-27
Packaged: 2018-03-26 01:03:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3831397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junxouji/pseuds/junxouji
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“ Keep me as the apple of the eye, <br/>hide me under the shadow of thy wings. ”</p>
            </blockquote>





	promises of tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

> → disclaimer: written for Apple0723

✧ There is something alluring about his voice. Jongin has known this since the first time he heard Luhan sing. It was the shy glances the Chinese singer often threw him in their pre-debut days that he thought Jongin couldn’t see. The whispering words casted to Yixing, soft eyes directed at Jongin−  
  
Eventually Luhan does freely come to him and it’s like fire. They ignite like flames and dance around each other to avoid the burn. But it really is unavoidable.  
  
“ There is just something about you. ” Jongin whispers one night when their friendship is dancing on the edge of dangerous and reckless. Luhan’s eyes are heavy from exhaustion as he peeks up quietly from the blankets wrapped around him.   
  
“ 我也愛你。” Luhan mumbles since his Korean is still in the midst of being perfected. Half the time they don’t say much together but they seem to understand just fine.

 

  
  
 

✧ Jongin has learned to really dislike the rain. For Jongin it had always been a hauntingly nostalgic sound. It’s only when he takes the time to lean his head against the van that takes them to variety shows that he realizes the rain symbolizes his life slipping through his fingers evasively. The past is unreal and the future seems unreachable. And it sucks.  
  
“Jongin?” The voice is soft but reassuring. He knows who it is that slips their small fingers into his own. He looks down at their intertwined hands. The contrast of pale against gold. His voice is softer just so no one else can hear and whispers the soft melody of affection. “Are you okay?” And somehow it’s only Luhan who ever notices.  
  
Only Luhan asks him about the pain of his injuries− not to say the others don’t care because Jongin knows they do. But only Luhan seems to understand his unique madness. The pain of his injuries are nothing compared to the void in Jongin’s heart.  
  
“Isn’t it all so monotonous?” Jongin asks quietly back and he’s graced with a squeeze to his hand as if trying to tell him no, you’re not going to slip into darkness just focus on me only in the way Luhan could.

 

  
 

✧ He was chaos from the start— he was destined to go on a downward spiral, clashing with the bland stale rain, the mounting storm clouds of his mind. But for Luhan he always remained as his star. Jongin just wish Luhan would realize even the stars fade and die, supernovas were his proof.  
  
And one day Jongin would poof. He would fade into nothingness. But Luhan believed in the theory of the stars. Jongin was a ticking time bomb. A star waiting to explode at the end of it’s lifespan. But didn’t Jongin know what happened to stars that die? The stardust would make up every atom of another.  
  
Jongin would be reborn from stardust, taking up every space in Luhan’s heart. The boy didn’t realize no matter how much trouble he thought he was, no matter how much of a mess he figured himself to be he would always be the endless possibility of stardust to Lu.  
 

 

  
 

✧ “You should tell me when you’re hurting.” Luhan said slowly as he brushed back the dark hair of his lover eyes soft. They both knew some things were unspoken. But Jongin’s suffering screamed at Lu.  
  
Jongin knows he’s only going to rain hell down if he seeks anymore comfort from Luhan than he deserves. “ How can I tell you what I don’t understand? ” He asks slightly feeling kisses press against his eyelids.  
  
“ Then I will make sense of it for you. ” Luhan promises as he peppers soft kisses along his face. “ You don’t need for everything to make sense right away. You’re too young to be this unhappy. Please tell me. Please trust me. ”  
  
“ Luhan, please don’t ever leave me. ” Jongin murmurs but he knows he cannot ask for the impossible.  
  
  
 

 

✧ He spends Christmas with Luhan in China. He has to be discreet when disguising himself in the airport a bit giddy to meet Lu’s family. Would he be introduced as the boyfriend? Did it even matter? He would see the home Luhan grew up in, see the people who shaped the man’s he had come to known life.  
  
Beijing. It smells funny but it has an odd feeling of home.  
 

 

  
 

✧ He doesn’t understand it at first. It’s unsettling. And it hurts. Kris hyung had always seemed so cheerful. So bright. But Jongin knows it’s just a job at the end of the day and he cannot blame his bandmate for leaving. It becomes a sickness when Luhan tells him he’s going too. He could tolerate Kris gone but not Luhan.  
  
“ I’m not leaving you I’m just leaving EXO. ” Luhan is whispering as Jongin becomes like the rain slipping through his fingers into a cage of lost sanity. Jongin shakes his head, lips trembling.  
  
“ What is the difference? I fail to see how that isn’t leaving me. ” Jongin demands as he wipes his face angry at himself for even crying. It was as he always expected. Luhan’s interest was destined to die when Jongin began to dim, no longer the bright star but rather the burdensome boy stuck on the ground. “ Take me with you. ”  
  
“ You know I cannot. ” Luhan said quietly. “ Your place is here. Mine isn’t. ”  
  
“ How come I feel like you’re saying goodbye? ” Jongin asks sniffing loudly.  
  
“ Think of it as a see you later. ”  
 

 

  
 

✧ Luhan haunts him like a bad taste in his mouth. Often days he finds himself chanting rain, rain, go away and it won’t even be raining. Sehun cuddles him close and whispers to Jongin that it is all going to be okay. But Jongin knows it will never be the same again. At least not with Luhan gone.  
  
“ I miss him. ” Jongin whispers a half hearted confession to Sehun who already seems to know. Sehun might be the youngest but he sure was the smartest at times.  
  
“ I’m sure Lu-ge misses you too. But you gotta stay strong. For the day you’re back with him. You parted momentarily. But you’ll be reunited- you two are a fire that won’t burn out. ”  
 

 

  
 

✧ Jongin tries to not cry when the camera focuses and Luhan’s face is made out on his laptop’s pixelated screen. He knows he would be in serious trouble if the manager found out he was talking to Luhan but he could no longer live off texts and quick whispers on the phone.  
  
Luhan looks good. He looks happy and Jongin is suddenly filled with a selfish desire for Lu to be a wreck too. But Luhan had always been too strong for crumbling apart.  
  
After all, if Luhan crumbled who would pick the pieces back up and rebuild Jongin stronger?  
  
“ I missed you so much Kāimén. ” Luhan mutters as his fingers brush across the screen as if seeking the boy’s soft tan skin. “ You look tired. Are you eating well? Sehun tells me you don’t sleep. What did I tell you? Take care of yourself! ”  
  
“ How can you look so happy without me? ” Jongin blurts. He doesn’t mean to but Luhan knew it was on the tip of his tongue anyway. His golden boy looked worn. It made his chest ache.  
  
“ Not a moment passes I don’t think of you. Our fond memories, our arguments even. But I have always been your pillar. And pillars are strong. I must remain strong so you can lean on me when you’re not well. That is why I look the way I do. Because every day I work hard brings us a moment closer together again. ”  
  
“ I love you hyung. I always have. ” Jongin’s voice cracks.  
  
“ Dummy, I’ve loved you too. Remember 我也愛你 ? ” Luhan asked. “ I’ve confessing my love to you since the beginning. You were just too dumb to realize. ”


End file.
